5am. Get up with children. Stagger to sofa and plan to be really disciplined and open laptop. As soon as I’ve woken up a bit.
6am. Wake up on sofa; rub crusted drool off chin and rub crayon off walls. Note to self: mustn’t fall asleep while toddler is up and crayons are within reach.
7am. Breakfast. If I can, I’ll squeeze in twenty minutes writing before school run. Plenty of time, shouldn’t be a problem.
8.40am. Scream at children to get in car. Run back into house to retrieve forgotten bag/coat/shoes/all of the above. Will write after dropping son off at school.
9am. Back home. Will write now. Just got to check twitter.
9.40am. Oh dear. Toddler needs nappy changing – pref ten minutes ago. Clean up. Disinfect hands. Will write now.
10am. Open laptop. Notice smell. Change toddler. No disinfectant needed this time. Will write now.
10.05am. Toddler crying. Find biscuits, hand packet to toddler. Will write now.
10.10am. Can’t possibly write till I’ve had a cup of tea. Kettle on. Will check twitter while waiting for it to boil.
11am. Re-boil kettle.
11.30am Sit down with cuppa.
11.31am. Toddler crying and rubbing eyes. Cuddle in and she goes to sleep. Eventually.
12pm. Lunch. Make lunch for self and husband. Sit down with it, toddler wakes. Make lunch for toddler.
1pm. Wash dishes from last night’s supper, today’s breakfast and lunch. Will write now.
2pm. Better just change washing over. Also toddler wants to watch Mr Tumble.
2.30pm. Sit down with laptop. Will write now.
2.35pm. Toddler climbs onto lap. That’s fine. I can balance laptop on sofa arm and toddler is snuggled in watching CBeebies. Start typing (after just checking twitter).
2.50pm. Toddler decides to help with typing.
3.10pm. Realise time. Jump up and DO NOT SWEAR (honest gov). Throw toddler in car and race to school. Note to self: must walk for school pick-up more often. Will write on return.
3.30pm. Return home. Discuss school with son. Have had more informative discussions with a brick wall. Give up and talk about Ben10 instead.
4.30pm. Finish talking about Ben10. Need to just check washing. And twitter.
5pm. Need to make tea.
5.05pm. WHAT DO I MAKE FOR TEA??
5.10pm. Search through cupboards and freezers.
5.40pm. Look for pizza shop menu.
6.30pm. Tidy up; children in bath; rubbish in bin. Note to self: mustn’t get mixed up.
7pm. Sit down to write.
7.05pm. Could really do with a shower.
7.30pm. Finish shower. Sit down with drink and laptop.
8pm. Wake up. Realise have been asleep on z key. Delete 4 pages of zzzzzz. Rub crusted drool off chin.
8.15pm. This needs coffee. Put kettle on. Check twitter while waiting for kettle to boil.
8.45pm. Re-boil kettle.
8.55pm. Sit down with coffee and laptop. Toddler crying. Go to get her back to sleep.
9.30pm. Wake up with head on toddler’s bed and complete lack of muscle tone in neck.Rub crusted drool off chin.
9.40pm. Put laptop away and go to bed with cup of tea and book which I stay awake until half eleven reading.
Will write tomorrow.
This is my life!!!! Loved it x
Ha, sounds like me! 🙂 “Will write something, no I really will – just going to check Twitter first, then I will, honest.” Hours later I’m still farting about on Twitter!
Ha ha! Brilliant! Only… what excuse do you use if you don’t have kids? *Gulp*
You’re living vicariously through me. *nods*
It’s not ‘farting about’! Tsk! It’s networking! ;D
Thank you! Obviously, completely fictional…
This is fantastic! Of course my days are nothing like this -ahem- but it’s hilarious all the same.
*Raises eyebrow but says nothing* 😉
Fabulous! You are almost as good at procrastination as me!. Very entertaining!
Nx
Cheek! It’s not procrastination, it’s…er…
Ha — hilarious!
Fantastic! Laughed out loud reading that! 😀
Oh god Becca, that was so funny I genuinely laughed out loud! Just glad I don’t have a toddler any more. And yet there’s still no writing done…
Excellent. Very funny. Love the checking twitter. Do wonder if they are all on laptop or from a mobile mind – as that has helped me procrastinate further lol.
This is so my life! Well, except my toddler doesn’t nap any more. And I’m more likely to raid the cupboards for chocolate than pop the kettle on.
And right now – at 10.41pm – I can exclusively reveal that our intrepid writer is…checking Twitter! #facepalm
I was reading On Writing by Stephen King ACTUALLY. *smug*
This is so funny, and although I only have one child and he is at school, so much of this sounds so familiar! Brilliant, really made me smile 🙂 x
Love this. Cheered me up in bout of insomnia, especially since I know our girls are the same age. It seems they have the same affection for ‘Tumble Tumble!’ – as the cry goes up several times a day (an hour!) in my house… X
Lovely stuff! It’s amazing how life just gets in the way, isn’t it…