Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?

Dear Daniel and Emily

A year ago I wrote this post.

So much has changed since then. Daniel, you’re nearly four and you’re such a big boy. You can dress yourself – in fact, you insist on it – and go to the toilet and even nearly read. You look after your baby sister and hold her hand when you’re walking together. Emily, you are the most independent little thing – walking everywhere, getting into as much trouble as you can and usually following your big brother round adoringly. Full of cheek and mischief and life.

But so many things have stayed the same. I’m still exhausted and there are days when that fog seems as thick and close as it ever has been. Some days I’m wishing your babyhood away, just to get to the days (and nights) when I can sleep and do more than merely function. Other days I catch myself and remember how precious and fast these days are, and I’m trying to imprint little details on my mind.

In the day-to-day business of life, I get carried away. You try to play and I say “In a minute”, “not now” or “just wait a minute, can’t you?” No, you can’t. Sometimes you should, but you can’t. I look at you and you’re both so big and grown-up I forget that you’re not even four, not even fifteen months. I expect things of you that aren’t reasonable. I get cross.

I’m sorry. I want you both to know how much I love you. I’ve just been in to see you both and whispered it in your ears and hoped that it drifted through into your dreams. I’m going to print out this post and last year’s letter and keep them for you, for a day when maybe we all lose our tempers with each other.

I love you.

Mummy xxx

9 thoughts on “Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?”

  1. This rings so true to me and I bet many more real parents, it’s lovely hun xxx

  2. Oh Rebecca, what a completely lovely post. In years to come, when they read all that you have written, they’re going to be so proud. I had the most amazing parents. They were so amazing, I assumed everyone else’s parents were just as wonderful. Your children will feel exactly the same. You are all so lucky to have each other x

  3. This is so lovely, Rebecca. Know that you are not alone, and that it is so, so important for children to learn that their parents are human – it’s the only way they learn about relationships and life. And also know that children can cope with nearly everything as long as they grow up with lots and lots of demonstrative love – sounds like they get plenty of that. Don’t apologise to your children – just keep loving them x

    *goes off to take own advice*

  4. Beautiful and so, so true (she types, listening to the sound of her girls arguing again. Well, it is nearly the end of the half term holiday…).

    Your children are as blessed to have you as you are to have them.

  5. Aww, this is such a lovely post and I can relate so well. The good news is, you will get more sleep one day. I promise. This is a lovely thing to do for Daniel and Emily.

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