Being the thoughts and opinions of an unfinished character; Miss Emma Flint, aged 16.
I must introduce myself. I am the protagoniste of Mrs Brown’s novel, which, being as yet unfinished, leaves me in a kind of limbo. Unable to keep silent yet without my own means of communication, I have taken advantage of what I am told is “Blog Takeover Day” to make myself heard. My mother, indeed, would have you believe that I generally have no difficulty in this regard, but do not believe her! I am, as is the way with all young ladies with something to say, by no means attended to as I deserve.
I have sworn, however, that with the dawn of the New Year (my goodness, 2011; the last New Year I celebrated was 1816) I shall be silent and ignored no longer. I shall give my Authoress no peace until she has completed my story and allowed me to give free rein to my expressions. And then she will find, having once finished my book and edited my words much more ruthlessly than I should like, that she is deceived in writing “The End”; I believe that I and my companions intend to allow her no respite.
You do not understand, I believe, what life is like for us mere characters, to whom you capriciously give birth then allow to languish in files and drawers, notebooks and imaginations. We had no voice, no thought of anything until you brought us into a semi-existence, then we come alive! I am young, I am full of things to say (and I do believe, more sensible than many of my peers if I do say so myself) and I burn to say them. Yet you allow petty considerations such as children and homes and busyness to interfere, to stop you picking up your pens and giving us life. We control you, we seek to creep into your minds and dreams until you stop the sillyness which prevents you from paying us due attention, but what a pitiful kind of control it is! At some point you will grow weary, shut us away for the night and we must start our insidious process of invasion all over again.
At least we can allow ourselves the satisfaction of straying from the paths you had imagined for us. I am never happier than when Mrs Brown has said that I shall go down such-and-such a path but as soon as she begins to write I wander in another direction entirely. I do flatter myself that my way is better, but I do not know that she has entirely admitted to it yet. We shall see, and I know that I shall be proved right yet again.
Do, pray, if you have any compassion, campaign on my behalf. Mrs Brown is a sad, frippery thing and needs constant prodding to complete the most important tasks (such as my story). She has, indeed, pledged herself to give me much more consideration but I beg you will be my best and dearest friends and give her no rest until I am finished. And then I can allow my successors to take up my task and hound her until their stories are also written. There is also the matter of your own characters – do not neglect them as I am neglected! Do not allow my sad situation to be repeated – show them the attention I am denied by my Authoress.
Thank you for your kind attentiveness. I feel sure we are to be the best of friends, and I look forward to meeting you again, in a more respectable state.
Your friend, E Flint.
Emma can be found pestering me on Twitter, as MissEmmaFlint. Don’t listen to her though, she’s a demanding thing. Thanks to Sally Quilford, whose idea the Blog Takeover was; her blog can be found here.
Don’t worry, Emma. I shall nag her incessantly until your story is told!
Emma says thank you. I say, “help!” 😉 Great idea Sally, I enjoyed this!
Miss Flint. While I am delighted to make your acquaintance
I do feel I must speak up for Mrs Brown who, like so many of we
Authoresses, has so many other demands for her time. While for you
chores are completed by no more than a few scratches on paper, here
in our world cleaning, shopping and caring for our families takes
such time and efforts I am not sure you appreciate nor understand.
I will certainly encourage Mrs Brown to write when she visits us in
cyberspace – a place where we scribblers like to waste time – I am
afraid you must learn some patience and allow her to tell your
story at a pace that suits her. Meantime, may I introduce you to a
gentleman of my acquaintance with whom you might like to while away
the hours while your Authoress gets to work? Miss Flint, this is
Mr. J. Gingerbeard. Yours &c, Mrs. Thomson
Oh dear! Now I feel guilty. (Sheepishly goes to drawer and
pulls out pile of papers.)
Emma says: “But…isn’t that what servants are for? And I must take exception – ‘a few scratches on paper’! Those few scratches are my lifeblood! But I shall certainly be interested in making Mr Gingerbeard’s acquaintance.”
I say: Thank you Nettie! I said she was a demanding little madam didn’t I? 🙂
Emma says: “Humph. I should think so.”
I say: Here, have a drink first…
Major Vernon presents his compliments to Miss Flint and
offers his sincere sympathy to her in her trying predicament. He is
in a similar situation himself, and although he is very mindful
that his own needs are but slight, and he has no desire to be the
cause of Mrs Smart’s neglecting her domestic duties, he must
concede that he too experiences a degree of frustration at times.
However, he can only counsel the lady to remember that not all
persons are granted the priviledge of being chosen as a protagonist
in a work of fiction. It is a great honour and some little
inconvenience must be bourne to that end.
Emma says (fluttering her eyelashes) “How very lovely to make your acquaintance Major! I shall try, indeed I shall, to have more patience with Mrs B, especially if you will bear me company. But it is very hard, very hard indeed.”
I say, stop flirting Emma. Thank you for stopping by Major, and do present my compliments to Mrs Smart. 🙂
Miss Flint, you poor thing. Tell me about it. It’s all very
well for your lady author’s friends and co-conspirators to make
excuses for her, but as you so rightly say, your very lifeblood is
the ink from her printer. I say, good for you. Give her no rest.
Hound her every day for another fifty, another hundred words. When
you consider what they put us through, a little inconvenience
should be the least they are expected to endure. You go, girl. Your
fellow sufferer, Seth MacGregor. PS Whatcha doing Friday
evening?
Dear Miss Emma, You’re so young, yet you know how it works
so well: “We control you, we seek to creep into your minds and
dreams until you stop the sillyness which prevents you from paying
us due attention, but what a pitiful kind of control it is! At some
point you will grow weary, shut us away for the night and we must
start our insidious process of invasion all over again.” I’ll pray
that Mrs Brown completes your story. I’m guilty of the same sins
though
Emma says: “Mr MacGregor, thank you, I shall do just that. And I must say, you have been inspirational to me. You are quite right; although I have not been forced to endure the sufferings you have I have undergone enough that I demand a little attention in return! It is not too much to ask is it?
Oh, and Fridays are, I hear, always excellent nights for moonlit strolls by the lake…”
I say: Seth, you are completely incorrigible but I love you anyway. Thank you for stopping by even if you do encourage Emma far too much. 🙂
Miss Flint I can assure you that I shall endeavour to
encourage Mrs Brown to continue with your story. I look forward to
reading more.
How kind, thank you!
Dearest Miss Flint, I would like to reassure you that with
the exception of giving love, care and attention to her own
offspring that Mrs Brown would love to give you the voice you so
desire. Like all of us Mrs Brown needs to give herself permission
to write more and perhaps clean a little less. Though if she does
that the house might take-over next time. Kirsty Ps. Loved this
voice!
Emma says: “Thank you. I am in limbo until then!”
Emma says “Thank you, although I do not understand why Mrs B does not employ a general maid. I am persuaded my mother could help her find someone suitable for the task if she was truly determined.”
Becca: *groan and look around house before collapsing in a dark room*
Ps thanks Kirsty! 🙂
After such an impassioned plea I am sure that your story
will now finally be told in all its glory, Miss Flint. Never again
will I be so thoughtless as to leave one of my characters to
languish at the bottom of the pile again. A thousand apologies!
David