Month: November 2010

Tired? I wonder why.

I was on Twitter last night (I know, a very rare occasion) and got into a snowball discussion. I don’t know if this is a technical term, but it should be. What I mean is, I started talking to one person on a topic and very quickly we were joined by more and more women. We weren’t talking about X Factor or I’m A Celebrity or Strictly Come Dancing or Merlin. Or the recession, Ireland’s bailout, the students protesting or the mining disaster in New Zealand. These are all very popular topics at the minute but it wasn’t ours. We were talking about hypothyroidism.

This may sound totally boring and not the kind of discussion you might expect to snowball the way it did. After all, what is it? Low levels of the thyroid hormone. Ah, you’re thinking. Women discussing hormones, that sounds more like it. Probably having a moan. Let’s leave them to it. Unfortunately, that was kind of our point.

I’ve had an underactive thyroid since birth. I’m one in about 2000, and until I reached adulthood, that was just the way it was. I had an unusual condition, I took tablets, I had regular checks, end of story. Then as I got older and started working and my contemporaries were adult women and not children, it turned out that hypothyroidism was a lot more common than I thought, but still pretty unusual. Now I realise, and it’s borne in even more after last night’s discussion, that hypothyroidism is extremely common, and that the only unusual thing about it for me was the timing. A large proportion of adult women are suffering from weight gain, tiredness, hair loss, memory problems, intolerance to cold, difficulty concentrating, lethargy, depression, and often amenorrhea.

So what, you say? That’s normal. Hormone problems. The problem with that is, that’s also what doctors frequently think too. Which is understandable, after all those symptoms are very similar to a range of problems including the menopause. It would be more understandable, however, if the doctors did a tiny little blood test before deciding ‘menopause’, just to rule hypothyroidism out. Some women have researched their symptoms and have discovered hypothyroidism, and are feeling frustrated that their doctors won’t listen to them (this is a common problem with male doctors and female patients. I’ve run across it before. I’m sorry, but it is). Other women are suffering miserably, either because they don’t feel able to push for thyroid tests or because they don’t know about them.

I do realise that a GP should not specialise in everything, but surely an awareness of such a common condition should be high on their list of priorities? The thing is, that list doesn’t really sound that serious. It IS like the menopause, and, y’know, thousands of women just get on with it. Now, I’ve not got to the menopause yet. That’s a nice treat in store for me and my family. But I have suffered from hypothyroidism, when my dose has been wrong or (guilty face) I’ve forgotten to take my tablets. That list quickly gets oppressive. You don’t have energy for ANYTHING. You feel ill – without being able to put a finger on any one thing, you just feel ILL. It gets worse, but it’s not just physical. It affects your mental capacity too, your thought processes get slower and your emotions get slower, but so gradually you don’t really notice; and because your mental capacity is slower you’re less able to notice or describe it.

Maybe it would help if I described what thyroxine actually controls. Maybe I should have said sooner. Ok: EVERYTHING. It controls your rate of metabolism, which is basically how every cell in your body functions. Every single cell. Your mental capacity starts to slow down because the cells in your organs are more important. And eventually, untreated long enough, it does come down to that choice. So you see why brushing hypothyroidism off as menopause isn’t really all that helpful. And it’s so easily fixable. A blood test, in which you specify that you want your levels of T3, T4 and TSH measured (thyroxine and Thyroid Stimulating Hormone). You have to specify this, because otherwise they’ll do the simplest and cheapest test and you really need the whole picture for a diagnosis (wouldn’t you think this would be standard? but no). After that, a tiny little tablet or two a day and regular checks, and that long list goes away.

At least, until you really are menopausal.

I don’t really know what the answer is, except that if you’re suspecting hypothyroidism to push and push for the test and for second and third opinions until you get it. If you’re suffering from those symptoms (and more, see below) and haven’t previously considered hypothyroidism, go and ask your doctor. And, although far more common in women, it can affect men too. It’s the same as any problem, if enough people shout then someone has to listen.

*I recommend you check out Thyroid UK for more information; they also have links to other campaigns etc. And Patient UK has a good factsheet on hypothyroidism here.

Wasted

“When danger, passion and chance collide…”

So reads the strapline on this gripping novel from Nicola Morgan, and it sums up the book perfectly. The story of Jack, who lives his life by the flip of a coin, and Jess, who comes into his life, had me by the throat start to finish. Luckily I was actually being looked after following a night of illness so I had the perfect chance to sit and read without worrying about children or housework or anything else that would have so rudely taken me away from Jack and Jess’ story.

The pace is relentless, the main characters so perfectly drawn and the twists and turns of their lives so agonising that you can’t help but think “What if…” long after you’ve put the book down. It’s a Young Adult book, but really I think most adults would be equally as riveted by it, if not more so. Nicola makes you think about what the alternatives to your life could have been just by making one choice slightly differently, even the most seemingly trivial and irrelevant ones. I remember watching the film Sliding Doors eleven years ago with my new boyfriend, and I think that film had the same objective – what if one thing had happened differently, how would your life have gone? Wasted does this much more effectively and brutally and there are moments throughout that actually haunted me and replayed after I’d finished reading. As an adult reading this, I think Nicola’s writing had a much more poignant effect on me than if I’d read it as a young adult, ten years or more ago.

On a different note, Nicola also captures tiny details that really bring that atmosphere to life as well as the breakneck feeling you get when true love coincides with the end of your school life; it’s like one life ending as another begins and Nicola gets this so perfectly. I actually felt breathless at several points and very often was transported back to the start of my relationship with my now-husband which happened at the same point in my life. It’s really excellent writing.

Nicola has a non-fiction book coming out next June, called Write to be Published, and is running several workshops on this theme before then. I can’t recommend them highly enough, as this is so clearly someone who really knows what good writing is, and I’ll be doing my very hardest to get myself onto one! Check out Nicola’s blog or website for more details (this isn’t an official plug, I’m just genuinely that enthusiastic about this book!). Nicola’s blog, Help! I Need a Publisher! by the way, is one of my favourite blogs for writers. Unbeatable advice.

Here’s the Amazon listing for Wasted; it’s available in paperback and Kindle version. Go and buy it…or flip a coin and let chance decide.

Loving The Hating Game

If you check back to this blog on December 1st, I’ll be taking part in a blogsplash to promote Talli Roland’s debut novel, The Hating Game on its release date. In the meantime, I was lucky enough to get an advance copy to read, so here’s my thoughts on it as a little taster for you…

I really enjoyed this book! It really got me engaged with the characters, and I’m definitely more of a character person than a plot person. If a book has a brilliant plot but the characters are awful, I just won’t keep reading, but Talli’s characters had me entranced. Mattie, the heroine, starts off as such an unpleasant person you just love to hate, but by a couple of chapters in you are completely on her side and desperately want to her to come out ok. My favourite character, though, is her best friend Jess, who is the perfect best friend but very human and makes a couple of big mistakes. All of the characters have their own – shall I call them quirks? – and their individual journeys are very well-written.

I really don’t want to go into too much detail and give away any spoilers, but I highly recommend this book when it’s released. It is funny, touching, a cracking story and, as I said, very real and engaging characters. I can’t wait to read more from Talli, I’m sure we’ll be hearing a lot more about her in the not-too-distant future!

The Hating Game will be released on Amazon as an ebook on December 1st and subsequently in paperback. As I said, I’ll be blogging again on release date, so check back!

Madness Takes Its Toll

So, it’s halfway through National Novel Writing Month. Hey, here’s a completely trivial question, should Novel Writing be hyphenated? Since the novel itself isn’t actually doing any writing but is the object being talked about? Or am I misguided? Any grammar freaks who can put that niggle to rest, answers much appreciated.

Where was I? Oh yes. Halfway through NaNoWriMo (it’s quicker and it saves me from worrying about the hyphen thingy) and I’m not quite on track. I’m not horrendously behind…well, yes, actually I am, who’m I kidding? To be on target to complete the 50000 words doing 1667 words a day I should have written 25000-ish by now, and I’ve actually written just under 18000. To finish on time, according to my stats page, I need to write 2146 words a day. This is actually more than do-able, assuming I can focus and sit down every day, which is easier said than done.

So what does that mean for me? First of all, I’m not throwing in the towel. There are a few reasons for this: first, I want the GLORY, the satisfaction of saying that I did it. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. Tough. I also want the writing software Scrivener, which is being offered at a 50% discount to all NaNo winners. I’ve had this on demo and absolutely love it, so I’ll be getting it anyway, but I would rather get it half price! And third, the t-shirts the winners can buy are just so darn pretty. I want one. This definitely makes me a bad person. Of all the motivations I’ve heard for finishing a novel, “I want a t-shirt” has not been among them. The thing is, if I say, aloud, “I’m not going to make it, I’m giving up on NaNoNow but I’ll still write the novel” I probably won’t. I’ll probably go back to my pre-NaNo work in progress and both of them will creep along at the pace that I have the luxury of at the minute being an unpublished, uncontracted writer. If I say I still have a chance and I’m still in there, I’m more likely to push myself and get this written, even if I end up not ‘winning’.

Have I learned anything so far? Well, yes, actually. First of all, it’s good deal more difficult to turn off my inner editor than I thought. I’m constantly checking my research, rewriting my last sentence (because I CANNOT let typos go. I just can’t. Don’t make me.), thinking about what I’m writing. Not so much in plot terms but more like “Is this sentence even English?” This gives me confidence in a strange kind of way, more for the future than for this particular project, but also that this project has some potential in it. I may be deluded in thinking this, it may a leap of logic, but please don’t tell me until December 1st.

Second, it’s sort of a taster of what life as a Real Writer is like. Before you eat me, I mean a writer with a deadline, a contract, having to make time wherever possible, having to squeeze writing time in around family, having something other than the ‘muse’ making me write, and having to sit down and write nearly every day. It puts a little bit of extra pressure on myself to lift my writing from ‘something I do when I have time’ to ‘something I make time to do’, which was beginning to happen but NaNo has made me prioritise it more. And I like it. This also gives me confidence that I’m doing that which I was Born To Do. Not in that my writing is some great gift to the world, just that there’s nothing I can do better or enjoy more on a long-term sustained basis, and that gives me this kind of satisfaction. The satisfaction I get from my family and faith is entirely different; with writing, it’s just about me.

Finally, that writing is a) much harder than it looks (I know, I know, those of you who’ve ‘got’ that are going “well, dur”) and b) a thousand times more satisfying. I started this blog post feeling pretty down in the dumps because of a) but I’ve finished it feeling energised and motivated because of b).

So, madness is definitely taking its toll. But I’m loving it.

I Love to Laugh

Waaaay back in the mists of time (ok, a few months ago) I wrote a couple of posts about lessons learned from Mary Poppins, here and here. I’m coming to regard Mary Poppins as a kind of life guru, as here’s another post based on the wisdom found in one of the best kids’ films ever.

Remember the scene where Mary and the children go to visit Uncle Albert? And he’s doing cartwheels on the ceiling and they end up having a tea party in mid air? The song that goes with that is one of those where you can’t remember the words but it’s infectious. Rather like a good laugh, funnily enough.

I love to laugh, loud and long and clear

I love to laugh, so everybody can hear

The more I laugh, the more I fill with glee

And the more the glee, the more I’m a merrier me!

I love this. I’ve always enjoyed a good laugh but in recent months I’ve come to appreciate really good comedy more. Andrew and I have been watching the latest series of Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow and the gap between the acts who were ok and the ones who had us in stitches on the floor was remarkable, and makes me realise how hard it is to do comedy really well. But not just that, also how amazing it is when it is right. Michael McIntyre is one who gets it right every time, just by being himself as far as I can gather. I highly recommend his book, his voice just rings true on every page.

I like loads of different aspects of entertainment. I like a gripping storyline, a good historical with beautiful costumes, a good romance, musical shows, I’m easy to please. But I think the thing, certainly at the minute, that really gets my attention and makes me hungry for more is outstanding comedy. ‘Clever’ comedy, I think – more verbal wit and sparring than slapstick. David Mitchell and Lee Mack on Would I Lie To You have me in stitches every time because they parry each other and pick up on the tiniest details to beat each other with.

That, for me, is the killer. The detail. It’s a skill I’ll never have, although I appreciate it very much in those who do. Being able to take an ordinary story and find the one or two details in it that make it hilarious. And nine times out of ten, it’s a detail we’re painfully familiar with; I think this is at least half of Michael McIntyre’s skill. For example, he gives a few examples of his experience of parenthood, which resonate perfectly with us. Or a situation that most of us have been in, but he manages to make it go horribly wrong. The highlights of his autobiography were those sorts of situations. Or, for example, Fawlty Towers. I know it’s grossly exaggerated, but it pushes the buttons that we can identify with. A example – being interrupted several times while in the middle of a job to be reminded to do the job we’re being interrupted from. The details that fit in horribly well later on, like the out-of-date kippers in The Kipper and the Corpse.

We’re also discovering new (to us, anyway) stand-up. I have been ill laughing at Adam Hills and Craig Campbell. They don’t just do a reel of jokes or poking fun at the audience. They observe what’s going on around them, and then let us in on their observations. And because they pick up a few killer details, it’s suddenly more real and therefore funnier. Here’s a treat: try watching this video of Adam Hills (disclaimer: it does contain swearing).

It’s not just tv or books either. When I’m on Twitter, the conversations I tend to pick up on and the ones that hook me and keep me on Twitter for far longer than I should be are the funny ones. Sharing a joke, a funny hashtag. I love it. If I’m in a group (a Real Life group) I have so little self-confidence and assertiveness that I tend to stay back and listen, and generally wish I wasn’t there, but when someone makes a really good joke or I find the courage to say something and the people around me find it funny, I shed a little of that self-consciousness.

I think comedy should be a part of everyone’s life. I’ve had a fair bit of time over the past year or so where we’ve felt really low, floundering. And watching or reading some comedy has lifted me, almost tangibly, every time. Our best times as a family are when we’re laughing together. I love to laugh, and I hope I keep on laughing for a long, long time.

*NB No copyright infringement intended. Words and music by Richard M Sherman and Robert B Sherman